Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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