Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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