It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's great music for shaving your balls
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
