I love black thongs
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize