so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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