Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
