Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
