she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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