A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't deserve a penis
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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