It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is Oprah even human
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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