Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
