you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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