How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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