If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
