He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
