paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize