It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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