So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
