I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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