Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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