Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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