Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize