I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
