it hurts more in the daytime
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
