please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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