its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
