I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Me too!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
