I wish I only lived at night.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
