Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
