these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
