Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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