i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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