everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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