you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
