What did we do last night that was yellow?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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