break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
