The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize