he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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