it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
