Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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