drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
