Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
