There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize