Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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