I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
