Say something about gay babies.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
