you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you would pick up someone in the library
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
