You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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