He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
