I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
