so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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