what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize