He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
