you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
