Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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