everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This gyro tastes like lonliness
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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