Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
