i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
