It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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