they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
