It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
