So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
