i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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